The time between a proposal and the wedding day is often filled with excitement and a great deal of planning. However, it’s important for couples to include focus on the long-term health of their marriage while they prepare for the big day. Early discussion of key issues that can create problems in any marriage is helpful to avoid a divorce years later.
4 Important Conversations to Have Before Marriage
Many couples find it challenging to confront and discuss hard questions, but these discussions can assist them if they face problems later on in their marriage. While you and your future spouse need not agree on everything, it’s important to understand each other’s perspectives to help with disagreements. Prior to marriage, it’s helpful to discuss the following four topics:
- Money. Finances are a major point of conflict for married couples, and a little preparation can save a lot of headaches later. Decide before marriage whether to pool your money or keep separate bank accounts. If one of you makes significantly more money than the other, you may want to consider creating a prenuptial agreement. If one of you tends to spend while the other saves, make a budget that works for both of you.
- Religion and values. From medical decisions to child-rearing, faith and moral values can play a large role in how a family handles everyday details. Discuss the role religion will play in your shared life and how it will affect any children you may have.
- Handling conflict. Most couples have disagreements, but they don’t have to ruin a relationship. Sometimes arguments can lead to a breakthrough that helps each spouse see the other’s point of view and assists in finding a solution to a problem. Set some ground rules for how to handle a disagreement, including how to keep open communication.
- Future plans. Each person in a relationship has a different vision of the future, and couples who want to share their life experiences should make their desires known. A discussion on where you want to live, your major life goals, how you envision your working life, and what you want from your career can be important topics to address before getting married. Additionally, you may want to talk about the number of children each of you expects to have and what you might do if you’re unable to conceive. Communicating about important future experiences can help with decision making down the road.
If you need help creating a prenuptial agreement, crafting a child custody plan, or mediating the terms of your divorce, the attorneys at Kirshenbaum & Kirshenbaum can help. Simply fill out our online contact form today to set up your initial consultation with us.