Is there a good way to tell my spouse I want a divorce?

If you’ve decided to end your marriage, it may seem that there’s never a right time to break the news to your spouse. You know the discussion will be fraught with emotion, and approaching it the wrong way could affect your future relationship with your spouse and children. While there may not be a perfect way to ask for a divorce, there are some things you can do to make the conversation go more smoothly. 

How to Prepare for a Conversation About Divorce

The best way to ask for a divorce will depend on the person you are asking. You know how your spouse will likely react to bad news, how they process information, and whether they would prefer a long or short conversation. Acknowledging their feelings and being respectful will set the tone for the separation and increase your chances of an amicable divorce. 

Before you make a request for divorce, you should:

Make a script.

It is best to write down your thoughts before meeting with your spouse. The right language can help you avoid hurting your spouse without giving them control over the conversation.

Pick an appropriate time and place.

Do not ambush your spouse by asking for a divorce when they don’t have time to respond. Plan the conversation for when you both have plenty of time to speak and ask questions, and do it in a place where you and your spouse feel comfortable. Try to let your spouse know ahead of time that you need to talk with them.

Prepare for an emotional reaction.

It may have taken you many months of deliberation before you reached the conclusion to separate, so expecting your spouse to process their emotions in a few moments is unrealistic.

Have a counter-argument ready.

When faced with the prospect of divorce, some spouses will ask about counseling or separation in an attempt to work on the marriage. It is best to have reasons at the ready for why these options don’t work for you.

Address expectations for the future.

You may want to discuss a few logistical details such as who will live in the house and who will have physical custody of the children. While you should listen to your spouse’s opinions and agree to work together to find a solution, it is best not to make any promises about custody or property until you speak to an attorney.

Do You Need To Speak To A Rhode Island Divorce Attorney?

If you are considering a divorce you need to speak with an experienced Rhode Island divorce attorney as soon as possible. Please contact us online or call our Warwick office directly at 401.946.3200 to schedule your free consultation. We help divorce clients in Providence, Warwick and all areas of Rhode Island.